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Feb. 11th, 2011 09:19 pm
mmmleather: (We are ridiculously awesome.)
[personal profile] mmmleather
[Hello, Vertiline.

Look at your mate, now back to Zevran. Now back to your mate. Now back to Zevran. Sadly, they aren't Zevran. But if they stopped smashing statues and came to hang out in the temple baths, they could smell like they were Zevran.

Look down. Back up. Where are you? You're in the temple baths with the elf your mate could smell like. What's in your hand? Back to Zevran -- it's your clothes, because who takes a bath with their clothes on?

Look again! Your clothes are now a towel and/or bath products. Anything you like, because you're facing a man who smells like an elf and not a dwarf.

... He's in the baths.
]

Date: 2011-02-12 05:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] too-fairytale.livejournal.com
[Amy's man... probably smells like a man. Despite being plastic. And technically not a man. ANYWAY. She heard the temple had some temple baths and was pretty keen to check them out and see if they were like Roman baths, because since her favorite topic in school was Invasion of the Hot Italians SHE OBVIOUSLY KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT ANCIENT ROME. Except not really.

So hello, Zevran. Look up. You're in the temple baths that a tall, hot redhead just walked into wearing nothing but a towel and a big smile on her face]

Date: 2011-02-12 05:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] too-fairytale.livejournal.com
[Amy comes up short when she hears the voice--having been preoccupied with scoping out the joint when she first came in--and then gives Zevran a very blatant once-over]

Hello yourself, stranger.

Date: 2011-02-14 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] too-fairytale.livejournal.com
[hey, there's no rule saying she can't admire the goods in the window. She just can't make a purchase, so to speak. Amy considers the bath for a moment before setting down the scrub brush she'd acquired and taking off her towel like it ain't no thang, then easing herself into the water]

It's always a good hour for a bath. Unless the world's ending.

Date: 2011-02-14 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] too-fairytale.livejournal.com
[unfortunately, Amy has found goods she's disliked before. English village boys aren't always what they're cracked up to be. But she's going to enjoy the attention while it lasts--she's not one to pass up an opportunity to be admired]

Weeeeeell, if the world's in the process of ending, usually I'm doing stuff like running around trying to stop it. No time for a bath.

oh god I almost snorted coffee out my nose

Date: 2011-02-15 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] too-fairytale.livejournal.com
[she outright laughs, as she gets settled, and mentally debates whether or not it would be kosher to dunk her head under the water]

You haven't done much world saving, have you?

Date: 2011-02-12 05:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimp-hat.livejournal.com
[Contrary to what most believe, trolls do in fact bathe. This one in particular likes to bathe whenever he can. After all the ladymons don't like it when you smell like a kodo's ass. Of course some don't like it when you smell like roses either. It's a delicate line but Kevas walks it like a pro.

Kevas enters the bath wearing nothing but his hat and a towel. The towel however, is hanging over his shoulder, not around his waist.]

Date: 2011-02-12 05:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimp-hat.livejournal.com
[Of course he would have company, and of course it would be Zevran. If it were anyone else then he might be considered lucky.]

Oi! Mon! My eyes be up here.

[He snaps his fingers to get the elf's attention.]

Date: 2011-02-12 05:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phasebitchin.livejournal.com
[The last place of worship Lilith laid eyes on was an outhouse reworked to function as an altar for a midget bug god. The altar was put on top of the toilet.

She is not going to be getting naked (yet) in one. Not THIS week. But exploring and snooping around to get a mental map of where the hell everything is can only give her an edge if Vertiline goes to hell. Secret hideouts, camping spots, the works.

Lilith turns the corner into the bath area and the first thing she sees is]


Green balls?

Date: 2011-02-12 05:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimp-hat.livejournal.com
[SIGH.]

Joo know what? Get joor fill. Cuz dis be da first and last time jah be seein' it.

[And what's this? Another challenger has appeared! At least this one is easier on the eyes.]

Dose only be a couple of my finah qualities.

[Kevas grins smugly.]

Date: 2011-02-12 06:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phasebitchin.livejournal.com
[Her line of sight ticks from the troll to the elf, back and forth as if it can't decide who to fix on. Eventually Lilith rolls it at the ceiling, waving her hand dismissively.]

Bashful's not the word I was thinking of. If you boys are having a good time by yourselves, I can leave.

[Even as she says that, the Siren is strolling alongside the walls, taking in her surroundings.]

Date: 2011-02-12 06:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimp-hat.livejournal.com
[Kevas shoots Zevran a look over his shoulder. You hump his leg enough as it is. He doesn't want to give more reasons to keep doing it.]

Why would we be wantin' jah to leave? I fuh one be happy to have such a remarkable ladymon here.

[It gives him something much more pleasant to focus on.]

Date: 2011-02-12 06:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phasebitchin.livejournal.com
[Lilith is filthy-minded. The double entendre is not lost on her.

Her mouth puckers a little from the effort of not smirking before she gives up and flashes her pearly whites in a sharky grin. Even so, the cogwheels in her brain are turning.]


Sounds like your homeland is where it's at. Do I know you two?

Date: 2011-02-12 06:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimp-hat.livejournal.com
Believe we spoke on da radio. I could nevah fuhget such a lovely voice.

[Even if she was shrieking at the time.]

My name be Kevas. It be a pleasuh to meet joo.

[Kevas removes his hat and bows. Apparently he forgot that a certain someone is in the bath behind him.]

so would we all, zevran, so would we all

Date: 2011-02-12 07:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phasebitchin.livejournal.com
Oh wow.

[She blasts an unladylike snort, caressing the hilt of the jagged knife lifted from the armory. On the opposite thigh is a hoslter for an old-timer machine pistol. Not stuff you usually bathe with.]


Real chivalrous but you might want to be careful who you flash your glory hole to.

Just sayin'.

[Lilith smiles sweetly.]
Edited Date: 2011-02-12 07:10 am (UTC)

take a number

Date: 2011-02-12 07:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimp-hat.livejournal.com
[Kevas rises but his smile doesn't fade. Sure he'll kill Zevran later but right now he's got other things on his mind.]

I'll charge him fuh it latah, but a dazzlin' ladymon like joo I'd happily give a free show.
From: [identity profile] phasebitchin.livejournal.com
[Naked green-skinned male swinging his bits around for the world to see? Check. Flirtatious blond elf in a tub? Check.

If this weren't a nightmare situation (her being virtually nerfed to hell and back), Lilith might think she was stuck in a drug-induced hallucination. Or maybe a wet dream.

After eyeballing Kevas's dangling appendage she raises a hand, stretching it out in front of her to shield that section of him from her view.]


There are ways to charm a girl, buddy, and offering to flash her your asshole isn't one of 'em. Besides, I don't even know if I'm into aliens.

[Or elves... but she's more inclined to think that Zevran is under the effects of body mods.]

well he could certainly fit them in there

Date: 2011-02-13 12:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimp-hat.livejournal.com
[This one is determined to take everything he says the wrong way isn't she? That's not going to stop him however.]

Den it be a good t'ing dat I be a troll.

[He doesn't even know what an alien is, though if they look anything like trolls he wouldn't mind meeting a few.]

is that what the kids call them these days...

Date: 2011-02-13 08:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phasebitchin.livejournal.com
[Troll, Lilith is trolling you.

Unable to resist temptation in any form, she cracks her fingers apart to peek-- and then Zevran in his shining glory catches her eye.]


Eh. I'm not sure. [Pretending to be thinking very, very seriously, she folds her arms across her chest and regards them both. Anyone who's familiar with her knows to be wary of the cruel glint to her smile.]

You're kinda on the small and fragile side, elfie boy. Hands are pretty, though, know how to use 'em?

the things you kids call your toys

Date: 2011-02-13 06:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimp-hat.livejournal.com
[Kevas smirks but he's not about to turn around to see Zevran in his birthday suit.]

All elves be fragile. Joo gotta be careful when jah play wid dem. Nevah really liked holdin' back myself.

[Of course that never kept him from having his share of elves before.]

Date: 2011-02-13 09:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phasebitchin.livejournal.com
[Lilith is a confident woman who has no patience for insecurities. People might be on the same level as serfs to her, but she can appreciate the ones who rise to a challenge. Giggling and extremely entertained by their high opinions of themselves, she flicks her hair back and deliberately shows her teeth.]

Yanno what I think? I think you guys are perfect for each other.

Date: 2011-02-13 10:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimp-hat.livejournal.com
[Kevas shoots a look right back a Zevran.]

Good t'ing dat I can give both no mattah da pace.

[This troll is a gentleman in and out of bed. He won't leave his ladymons disappointed. In fact he likes to leave them wanting more. Kevas loves having repeat customers.

Looking at Lilith he can't help but be reminded of an animal bearing its fangs. He likes it.]


I t'ink we be a party.

Date: 2011-02-14 03:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phasebitchin.livejournal.com
[There is no such thing as getting in over her head.

She drawls:]
Parties are usually the bomb, but boys, I am so sorry. Today... just not in the zone.

[Lilith waits a beat and then titters.]

I could watch!

Date: 2011-02-14 04:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimp-hat.livejournal.com
Dat be a damn shame. I always be up fuh party. Maybe latah den, hopefully joo'll remembuh us, or at least me.

[And now Kevas finds himself in the exact same situation from when he first met Zevran. Just how does this keep happening to him?]

Sorry ladymon but I ain't be drunk 'nuff fuh dat.

[In fact he's quite sure that the amount of alcohol it would take to get him willing for that would kill him.]

Date: 2011-02-14 05:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phasebitchin.livejournal.com
[Lilith mulls over her options. For the first time, her eyes wander toward the troll's face (having been justifiably sidetracked by soaking wet glistening bronzed manflesh and never-before-seen alien jubbly bits). A nose that long would be hideous on a human, and while Kevas is certainly not handsome by HER definition, it takes more than generic Hollywood physique to inspire interest.

And here on the other hand is Zevran, entirely unlike the commercially spammed caricatures of elves she's used to. Santa's jolly helpers don't have facial tattoos, filthy mouths, or bedroom eyes, for that matter. She can't be blamed for curiosity on two ends of the deal.]


Take a rain check and call me, baby. [Lilith makes an exaggerated show of sighing and fanning herself.] Hot in here, or what? I got bunches of explorin' to do, so I'm gonna step on outside and... leave you to it.

[Her exit would be dramatic perfection... if she could phase. She settles for a roguish dimply wink and a happy hop-step out of the temple.]

Date: 2011-02-14 05:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimp-hat.livejournal.com
[Kevas whistles and doesn't even bother hiding the fact that he's checking out her backside as she leaves. That one is going to be fun. He can just tell.

The troll throws a look over to Zevran and grins.]


She be takin' da bait. Now just to reel da ladymon in.

[After all that Kevas thinks that he'll be using one of the private baths. Last thing he wants right now is an excited elf rubbing all over him. Which reminds him...]

Joo fuhget whatchu seen here alright?

[You know what he means.]

Date: 2011-02-14 06:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pimp-hat.livejournal.com
[Kevas sighs and keeps walking towards the private baths.]

Den at least don't go sharin' whatchu saw.

[He would like to keep what little reputation he has in this place intact.]

Date: 2011-02-13 04:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shocksanglocks.livejournal.com
[Tess' man actually smells of sewers and desert and he's already too manly to ever feel the need to smell more manly. Anyway, Tess decided that it would be an awesome day to take a bath because she really hasn't done that in a while.

Wearing nothing but a skimpy pink bikini, Tess takes her bath products and sits right nest to the man.]


Heya!
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